Values: Aligning Actions with What Matters Most
In a world of competing demands, it’s easy to overcommit—saying “yes” when we really want to say “no,” burning the candle at both ends, and calling it normal.
Early in life, I learned how to pour into everyone else’s cup before my own. Boundaries? I didn’t even know what they were. And the idea that “No” is a complete sentence? That was a revelation.
When my mom was diagnosed with MS, it shifted my perspective. I couldn’t help but wonder if the extraordinary pace she kept might have been a contributing factor. Navigating my own hereditary health condition, I began to reflect on my own pace. That’s when I realized well-being couldn’t be something I fit in when I had time—it had to be the foundation for everything else.
The first change I made was replacing the word busy. The word felt vague and unsatisfying. What was I really “busy” with, and why? What was I modeling for my young daughter? Was I unconsciously repeating generational patterns? Asking these questions—and requiring specificity—opened the door to intentional living.
Getting Intentional
Identifying my top five values brought structure and alignment into my life—and with that came less stress and more energy.
I even color-coded my calendar by values: Integrity, Relationships, Vitality, Faith, and Creativity. This visual check-in helped me see where I was aligned and where I wasn’t. When you know what matters most, decision-making gets easier, work feels more meaningful, and burnout becomes less likely.
Living by my values also helps me make sense of my own reactions. When an art class fills me with joy, I know it’s because I value creativity. When I feel frustrated by words that don’t match actions, it’s because I value integrity.
Values also shape how I relate to others. At my best, they help me lead with curiosity and compassion instead of judgment and fear. Rather than assuming the worst, I can ask: What might this person’s behavior reveal about what they value?
Over time, I’ve refined my list from five to two core values—Faith and Connection—the ones that guide everything else.
The Problem
Many of us get caught in a cycle of reacting instead of choosing. We say yes when we should say no, we fill our calendars with things that aren’t important to us, and we end up drained.
Signs you may be out of alignment include:
Feeling like your work or life lacks meaning or purpose
Saying yes to things you regret later
Missing opportunities to do what matters most
Noticing that your energy and enthusiasm have faded
The Solution
The good news is you can course-correct by consciously connecting your actions to your values.
Here’s how:
1. Identify Your Highest Values
Take time to clarify what truly matters to you—in work, relationships, and personal growth.
2. Color-Code Your Calendar
Assign a color to each top value and mark your commitments accordingly. It becomes visually obvious when your calendar reflects your priorities… and when it doesn’t.
3. Align Your Actions
When an opportunity arises, ask: Does this align with my values?
If the answer is yes → lean in fully.
If the answer is no → gracefully decline.
4. Track and Review
Regularly check your commitments. Are you spending time on what you say matters most? If not, adjust.
Why This Works
When you act in alignment with your values:
Decision-making gets easier (less overthinking)
You feel more energized and motivated
Your time and energy go toward what truly matters
You avoid resentment from overcommitment
Call to Action:
Complete the Values Mapping Guide to identify your top 5 values.
Compare your values to what’s currently on your calendar.
Where there’s a mismatch, make a change.
You’ll be amazed how quickly you feel more focused, energized, and in control.
